Stories

Sometimes I lose sight of my dreams.

Don't we all?

I have dreams of living out this incredible story. I dream of loving myself, of being this powerful Christian speaker that is so in love with God that it radiates to those surrounding me. I dream of being a wife that is loved, a wonderful mother to children that I have both given life to myself, and those that I have adopted in with my love. I dream of writing books, and leaving a legacy.

I dream of being remembered as that person that just loved God and others with every ounce of her being.

But all too often, I catch myself far from my dream. Or, I feel like I'm far from my dream.

I know it is becoming a semi- obsession (but not really...yet) but Donald Miller has this quote that I love. A quote that I tell my students, but one I never really apply to myself.

"Every life is like a story. Whether its worth telling and talking about, though, is up to you. People set out with grand dreams of changing the world, falling in love, doing something amazing. But the drift towards the merely acceptable happens almost without notice. That does not have to be your story." -Donald Miller (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years)

I don't say this to state that I think that I have a boring story now. I've actually had a pretty good story so far. There have been good times, and there have been some really hard times, but in all honesty, its my story. I wouldn't change it. However, I feel like I'm drifting to the merely acceptable and I'm only 19. There have been amazing opportunities that God has laid out for me, and I know there are more to come...but I feel as if I'm stuck on the path. Maybe we come across pauses in our paths so that we can work on ourselves. So that we can take a break and allow God to fix what is broken within us. Maybe the pit stop is part of the journey.

Whatever the situation, I can't help but to feel like stagnant water. Do any of you ever feel like that? I know I'm not alone.

I don't feel any growth. But even worse, I often feel too lazy to even try to grow. How sad is that?! I spend more time complaining that I'm not growing and changing or reaching my dreams than I do actually trying to reach the dreams.

You know the lukewarm Christian that Paul writes about in Revelation? I'm who he is talking about. Neither here nor there, and just fine with the mediocre.

That simply cannot happen any more. Mediocrity cannot be my life.

I think as a blog, this is more of a resolution. A resolution to no longer be mediocre. I want to be the best version of me possible.

There is so much of me that has developed because I've tried to fashion myself after Christ, but there is also so much of me that is completely and totally human. But I guess the positive here is that I see it. However, there is another part to all of this. I've got to keep myself in check with my dreams. Do I want to leave a legacy that speaks for myself? Or do I want to leave one that speaks to how amazing my Creator made me to be?

I know and believe that God has created my life to do something amazing. I just have to remember not to take the credit for myself. I've got to remember to not let my humanity take over. Sometimes I can see what I desire in life so clearly that it makes me impatient. Like, I know what I want...I just want it now. And this is when my friend patience likes to show up and taunt me.

But you know what? That is the great thing about stories. They don't all happen at once. They take time. They move at their own rate, and each with their own different twists and turns. They all have characters that are stronger in some areas than others, all with different dreams, and the best part? They all have a different beginning, climax, and ending.

I think that is one of the most beautiful things about life. We all have different stories, and every so often, we get to choose who we allow in our stories, and who we merge our stories with.

Personally, I think that there is a moment when we either consciously or subconsciously decide which direction we are going to let our lives go. Do we follow the harder path that leads to a greater view? Or do we go down the easier path to the view that we are more comfortable with?

God didn't create us with curiosity and ambition to live a mediocre life with acceptable views. He created us to live to our fullest potential. To stand at the peak of the mountain and have your breath taken away by all that He has laid out for you.

He created us to live amazing stories. But he doesn't promise us perfect stories. Nothing is going to be perfect in this life. There are going to be hardships, there are going to be obstacles, there are going to be rock slides. We all have a choice though, get stuck in the hardships, or have a hand there to help us pull through.

I think this is the part of my story where I realize that I am my own biggest obstacle. This is where I realize that I have been empowered and made to live a great story. This is where I learn to truly forgive, where I learn how to let myself truly heal, where I learn to let my glass walls down. This is where I admit, I have been happier, and this is me choosing to move forward with my story. I honestly want to live a life that is worthy of "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Living a story worthy of telling isn't always going to be easy. But what is a good story without a few trials and tribulations? It makes the fact that you survived to tell the tale all the more sweet.

No more stagnant water. It isn't healthy. Live a life worthy of praise. (and I'm not just talking humanly praise here, people.)

Now, I can't lie...I've got to go physically sleep now.

Just My Opinion.

My question as of late is, who put faith in a box? It seems to me more and more people are buying in to commercialized faith that comes with "pre-set boundaries". Like its a small package that you buy at an absurd price in a department store.

I just don't get it.

Who decided that it would be a good idea to put human standards on a God that they claim to be Holy and more capable of things than any human. Too often I feel like people immerse themselves in boxes of belief. They feel that if they don't have an answer for every little thing that it is causing them to question their faith.

Just a reminder: Faith= Firm belief in something for which there is no proof: Complete trust.

We are human, it is okay to question, because more often than not, the questioning will make you stronger AND you usually come out with a more solid reason of why you believe what you believe.

Before you pass out thinking I am asking you to completely question every single aspect of your faith, just know that I am simply saying that you cannot settle for commercialized faith. You've got to have your own relationship, story, your own...well, everything. Fanny Mae's faith isn't what you're going to be held accountable for.

I think we as Christians like to spend too much time arguing among ourselves and too little time serving others.

My favorite argument? Creationism. While I believe God created everything, and Genesis and all- why put a human-day limit on everything?

2 Peter 3:8 says "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."

I'm just saying, I find it completely reasonable to think that Gods' time isn't like ours, and who is to say that it didn't take thousands of years for the universe to form? Don't you believe that if God is the God you claim him to be, he can do that? I'm not saying that he didn't do it in 7 human days, because honestly I obviously wasn't there. What I'm saying is, don't put limits on God. Don't get into unnecessary arguments, where no one is going to see the other person's side, instead put that time to good use...like feeding the hungry or clothing the poor.

The thing about all of this is people don't really like that answer because it causes them to feel uncomfortable. Not much about faith is really comfortable. Why? Because its faith.

Its the beauty of Christianity.

I have this quote from Donald Miller that I really just love,

"My most recent faith struggle is not one of intellect. I don’t really do that anymore. Sooner or later you just figure out there are some guys who don’t believe in God and they can prove He doesn't exist, and there are some other guys who do believe in God and they can prove He does exist, and the argument stopped being about God a long time ago and now it’s about who is smarter, and honestly I don’t care."

I choose to care about others. Its not that I desire to be shallow and have no support to what I believe, because I do- I'm just suggesting that there are more important matters.

I don't want you all to leave this blog thinking I am some type of blasphemous Christian. All I am trying to say is, don't let your faith come pre-packaged in a box. Take time to find out who God truly is, and find your own convictions among scripture. Spend the time that you would be arguing with others about your opinions and spend time loving each other and loving those in need. Take time to stop arguing about the Bible, and actually take the time to share it. Don't argue about who Jesus is. Be who he is.

Be Jesus to the world folks. All these issues will die with your flesh, but the truth will live on.

Waiting

This week I have really been thinking a lot on waiting...as weird as it sounds. I think on waiting for things, and not settling for less than I deserve. Lately, I've been finding myself trying to beat down doors that obviously aren't supposed to be opened for me...and while I wait outside the door for it to be opened, I have really been pondering this verse:

"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything, in the One who makes me who I am." Philippians 4:11-13.

I have no idea why I try to make myself believe that I need more than I have now, but I guess that is just part of being human. Sometimes, we all want things that aren't good for us.

Everything will happen in it's own perfect timing.

Don't awaken change before it's time.

Don't move ahead before it's time.

Don't try to grow up before it's time.

Don't awaken love before it's time.

Doing anything before it's time will probably be disastrous, trust me, I know.

Things are going to happen, whether good or bad. We all just have to hold strong through the storm.

True contentment, well, for me at least, is when I know I'm doing what God wants me to do, or in a situation that God wants me to be in. That being the case, I don't know why I try to change things or get them rolling before their time. Let it be.

(no, this is not me being a lazy, non-go-getter, this is for those situations that you just have to wait. Just saying.)

Real

So, a few nights ago I had this weird dream that has really been bothering me...

In my dream, I had been asleep but woke up and went into another room to get something, and when I came back in the room, the rapture was happening. Like angel in the air (yeah, had a loin-cloth and everything- sadly cliche angel) and fire everywhere and low and behold, THERE WAS JESUS! So, what did I do? I fell on my face and said "Messiah! Please, remember me." But at that moment...I think the worst feeling I've ever experienced hit me- (or, one of them). I remember thinking in my dream "Oh, crap. I did absolutely nothing with my life and now, I don't have a chance to fix it." But the worst part is, Christ had no idea who I was...because I had only claimed his name my entire life, but never truly KNOWN him.

As much as I'd love to say that I mad this up, totally didn't. I can see it in my mind as if it had just happened. But the relief? I woke up.

I feel like everyone has different worst fears...fears of spiders and snakes, fears of tornadoes- heck, even fears of ladybugs. And while these fears are valid and I share the fear of the like first three...In all honesty, my worst fear is living for something in vain; Living like I knew God- but never actually taking the time to know him.

I give people a lot of crap for professing to know who God/Christ is,but living in a different way. But then I get to thinking...what is the difference between those people and me? I don't necessarily read my Bible daily like I should, and I tend to fall a lot, but in reality...I'm just as much of a hypocrite as they are...I'm just better with my actions.

CS Lewis has this quote: "Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The one thing it cannot be is moderately important."

I guess my point in all of this, is that if you are going to do something- you either for it, or you're not. If you believe something- you either believe it or you don't. I know there are a lot of ifs, ands and buts in the grey areas- but in reality it can be either summed up one way or another.

Revelation 3:16 says "Because you are lukewarm-- neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth". I mean, God isn't going to literally spit you out of his mouth...but its saying- you either know him, or you don't. You either live for him- or you don't. I think for me, I've got to remember that at the end of my time, I don't want to look back and see all of the times that I should have done one thing, but did another. I don't want to have that "Oh, crap!" feeling. The feeling of knowing that I did all that I could do, the feeling of knowing that I lived for God- THAT is the feeling that I want to experience.

This really trickles into everyone's faith practice. I don't know of anyone that wants to see a "fake Christian". Let's be real, they annoy ALL of us. The world would probably rather see someone be real than be a hypocrite any day. Kind of like a sales- person (yes, I am using this example. No, I am not equating a Christian with a sales-person.) When you are buying something- are you going to buy from the guy that you feel like is full of crap? Or are you going to buy from the guy that you felt was real with you?

Unless you have a thing for greasy sales-people, you are going to go with the real person.

I just think that we all need to be real with ourselves and be real with everyone else. In the end, you either lived for something, or you didn't. Just be real, the world doesn't need another fake.

Personally, I don't care to lie to everyone else- and I don't care to lie to myself. If I am who I say I am, and if I plan on being the Minister/ Missionary that I believe that I'm supposed to be- I should probably start reflecting this more and more in my life.

Don't get me wrong, its not like I'm NOT who I say I am, I am who I say I am...I could just use some improvement. But couldn't we all? (is there any more room for another 'I'?!)

Anyhow, thanks for reading this somewhat random post. Couldn't be as random as my last one, right?

So...is the Messiah is going to remember me? Yeah, buddy.

Jennie

You

It seems like every time I go to write now, I just can't put words to my thoughts. Like, I know what I want to say, but I'm not quite sure how to say it- or maybe I'm just too caught up in which subject I'll chose to talk about next. There is nothing like finally getting your words out there- like you're finally being heard. Well, this post might be a bit different than the rest- but who doesn't like different?

I guess there is no better place to start with my thoughts than from the beginning.

My friend Kristin has this quote in her room that says, "Wishing to be someone else is a waste of who you are." Until recently, I haven't realized how true that statement is. I catch myself wishing I were someone else, looked like someone else, had traits and qualities of someone else. But for what? So that I could be "happier". I think what it all boils down to is insecurities that I've ignored for a long time that are finally surfacing in my head. Insecurities of going to a school with beautiful people, having friends that I feel are gorgeous while I feel well, less than. I don't say all of this to make you all think that I have low self-esteem or self worth- because honestly I don't- I think it all is just me deciding what voice to listen to in my head. Do I listen to the thought that says "You are NOT that pretty. This is why no guy ever takes a second look at you. Its all based on the outside. You need to fix that." or the one that says "You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful- don't compare yourself to the others. You are YOU. Sure, there may be room for improvement- but you can do it! Don't get yourself down." More often than not, the little demon singing the ugly song wins.

What? Don't be so shocked. I'm pretty sure everyone struggles with this. Even if we don't admit it. There is always a voice in the back of your head whispering lies to yourself. I think that this little voice, is what leads us to wishing ourselves away. We get so caught up in what we could be, and not who we are- so caught up in what we could have, instead of what we have. In fact, I think if people would stop longing for money, social "worth", relationships, etc. they would have the time to realize just how many awesome things they have in their lives! They can realize just how AWESOME they are; they can SEE their blessings.

God made you, YOU for a reason. He blessed you with special talents, thoughts, abilities- for a reason; so that you can USE them! Lets say you could just pick up a Cello and play it perfectly without even trying, but you really want to play guitar- and can't play it worth a lick. What are you going to do? Are you going to use your gifts and stun the world with you cello skills? Or will you chose to attempt to play the guitar- in hopes that one day it might actually sound like music? As random as this example may be- think about it. Why allow yourself to be down about something that you are bad at- when you could be celebrating something that you are amazing at!

I guess I just say all of that to remind people to celebrate who they are, and to love themselves. Concentrate on the good, and not the bad. Don't dwell in what could be; dwell in what IS. Be excited about who you are! Here, I'll set the example.

I'm Jennie. I have an awesome life! I have been blessed with an amazing family, and some awesome friends. I am able to go to a wonderful college, to pursue what I want in life. I may get down on my appearance some days- but I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I'm really good at making people feel comfortable and loved- and I can be loud and obnoxious- but also witty. People feel safe to talk to me- and I love being able to love on people. I may be single- but that is so I can concentrate on the friendships and people that need a little more love- and concentrate on spending more time with my awesome God- and I know that one day I'll be pursued. I'm not always satisfied with my life, but at the moments I need it most- God sends me little pieces of hope and light. I have been blessed beyond measure- and I can sleep knowing I'm safe and loved tonight- and that is the best thing I could ever ask for. Maybe I can't sing or dance- maybe I can't be organized- maybe I'm not the "coolest" person in the world, but I'm me and I know I'm who God wants me to be- and THAT is all I will ever want.

BE who you are, and don't be ashamed.

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is Youer than You."-Dr. Seuss

Yes, I ended with the Seuss. Appreciate it.

Agape

As some of you know, I have seriously been thinking of getting a tattoo. I realize that half of you want to pee yourself with excitement- while the others want to pee themselves in fear.

Before anyone pulls out scripture or anything...let me explain.

I want Agape on my wrist.

Agape- God's love.

I want this tattoo to be on my wrist as a constant reminder to myself that I'm not here by chance- I'm here to make a difference. I'm here to reflect the love that has been shown to me, and to serve. I want to be the hands and feet, I want to love like Christ loves-As unglorious and dirty as it may be sometimes. I want this to be a symbol to myself, and to others, a promise I am making. I will serve those around me. I will be a pastor, a servant, and a woman of God. More so than I am right now. I want to look back when I am 80, and explain to my grandchildren why I have this tattoo on my wrist. I want to know that I lived, and got that tattoo when I was 19 and remember where my heart was and to see how it grew over the years. I want to be reminded daily that God's love is the purest of loves, and the love that I am most unworthy of...I want to be constantly reminded to be humble.

Some of you may say, "Jennie- write it on a post-it or something! Don't permanently do this to yourself!"

While I appreciate this...you do things your way, and I'll do things mine. I am merely putting decoration on the temple.

I want to always remember that,

"Agape doesn't love somebody because they're worthy.

Agape makes them worthy by the strength and power of its love.

Agape doesn't love somebody because they're beautiful.

Agape loves in such a way that it makes them beautiful." -Rob Bell

Just wanted to share.

-jennie

DC Thoughts

As some of you know, this past week I spent my spring break on a mission trip in Washington D.C.. I don't tell you this to get an applause, but to share reflections on my week.

Last week was definitely one of the most eye-opening weeks I have had in my life. I met homeless men with faith so great that I feel like I could only dream of it. I saw elderly women living by themselves in dirty homes, with no one to take care of them or spend the rest of their days with. I met people that had lived in DC all of their lives, but had never made it out of their neighborhoods to see the monuments. I met kids that just wanted to be loved on. I met homeless men that just took things as they came- and I saw others who are spending their lives to better other's.

Last week I was reminded that Jesus only asks us to do a few simple things. Take care of the widows and orphans. feed the hungry, clothe the homeless, treat our neighbor as ourselves, and to love God with all of our hearts, souls, and minds.

How distorted this has become.

Being a Christian in this modern world seems sometimes a self-righteous religion. For many, it is. But what they forget is that God asks us to do everything humbly. These Christians that say "Hey! Look at me and all I have done!" are no better than the priests and other church officials that Jesus himself often condemned. The very men that claimed to be followers of God, were more concerned with the decorative robes on their backs and having the attention- than really helping God's people. This seems all too similar to Christians today.

Christians are called to be the hands and feet of Christ here on earth. We are to do everything that Christ himself would do. We are to love, we are to tend to those that need mending, and we are to take care of one another- not just donate 20 cents to the salvation army at Christmas time.

I met a man named Mark last week. He was in his early 30's, handsome and very well dressed. Mark was homeless and going through a rehabilitation program at a men's homeless shelter. The men that we worked with were kind enough to share their stories and testimonies. Just a few years ago, Mark was a lieutenant in the DC Police. He was married to a beautiful woman, and had two children. Three years later, there is another man living in his house with his wife and kids- and he is in the shelter. He made the comment that no one ever came looking for him...and no one knows if he is alive or dead. But Mark said something I will never forget,

"I have more now then I ever did then...I would do anything to have my wife and kids back, but I have a God that has always and will always provide for me. I'm here to look after my brothers."

Not only Mark, but the other men going through the program with him all had faith so great...they were confident that God has and will always provide for them. They were more concerned about one another's well being as well as our well being than anything else. I honestly was humbled. Men who had everything taken away from them had more faith and hope in God than I do...and I've been blessed with food to eat and a roof over my head every night as well as so much more.

I was reminded that all I really have in this life, is me. Not saying that I can only rely on myself. But the only thing I truly poses in life...is my body- my...being. All I can honestly give to God is me. All I can give to my friends and family, is my love and support and friendship. I have nothing else that I can truly give.

Sometimes I wonder what this world would look like if we all just forgot about earthly success and just started caring for one another. I wonder if Christians actually started acting like Christ did, what a change would occur.

Last week I saw more of Jesus through the people we served, and the people that helped serve them every week than I have in many Christians or Christian organizations.

They don't just say, they do. Not only that, but they humbly admit that they have struggles and aren't perfect. They admitted that they could be hypocrites at times, but they were human. They reminded me that sitting in a Church pew every Sunday and singing doesn't make you a Christian just like standing in a garage making car noises doesn't make you a car.

If you talk the talk, walk the walk. Do what Jesus asks, and follow his actions. Love others, serve them and be humble. Do nothing for the glory of you, do it all for the glory of God.

Be a Christ follower.

The hardest part of this week wasn't seeing everything I saw, but seeing it and realizing that at the end of the week I was leaving to go back to my cushy life. I have never been so humbled, and so confused. God used these men and women to show me what I had been missing; a servant's heart.

I will walk in the ways of Christ, and serve as he served. I will be the hands and feet, because that is what I am asked to be. I can't lie and say I will never struggle with this, because I admit that I have struggles daily. But its the struggles that make you stronger.

-jennie

Just a Shout Out

So, as you all could tell- I've really been struggling this past week. I just wanted to write to you and say I'm sorry if I come across as bitter, harsh, or a whiner. Blogging is my thing, and this is how I let stuff out. We all have our weeks- and this has just been mine. From being super stressed- to bruising my tail bone, you guys have heard...or read it all. I'm not a bitter debbie downer, and I don't want you all to think that. I just try to be honest with my struggles so that you all might not feel so alone if you feel the same way. Thanks for reading my thoughts, kids. A new day is on the horizon :)

love,

-jennie

Ramblings of a Hungry Kid...

So, as most of you know I am doing this thing called The Daniel Fast...

Don't worry, this is the type of fasting you can talk about.

The past three days have been a real struggle both physically and mentally. But as life normally is, it has not been short on blessings.

I'm starting to realize, that things like food are just things of instant gratification. Like "ooh, that piece of cake looks good, I think I'll have one..." and BOOM! Desire fulfilled. But how many other things in our lives can we apply that to? Almost everything. The world today is filled with what I like to call "on demand" things. We have the internet, which can find what we are looking for almost instantly, we have fast food restaurants that give us food (almost) instantly, for goodness sakes, we have on- demand television. But as helpful and nice as it all is, it cheats us out of different gifts...like the gift of patience.

I can't lie, a struggle I have had recently is my single status. No matter how hard I pray, no matter how good I feel about where I am in life, I feel like I'm getting nothing. Like the big guy can't hear me. Then I think, well is what I'm asking for absurd? No...I don't think so. I mean, it is said that God knows the desires of your heart...and ask and it will be given to you...but why isn't anything happening? Why do I pray for contentment, when I do not receive it? But then it is pointed out to me, that I'm praying for the wrong thing...I need to pray for patience.

Patience and I...we aren't too great of friends. If I could, I would totally ask God for a written out plan for my life...but things don't work like that, now do they? I'm so used to getting what I ask for almost instantly, and now...I feel like I am entitled to insta-man! As nice as that would be, I have to come to terms that maybe what I am waiting for is just around the corner- and I just need to be patient and wait just a little longer. I realized, that I am content. I have amazing friends, an amazing family...my life, it is good. If this is my biggest complaint to God...then really, I have nothing to begrudge at all. There is more to this world than me. I should be more worried about the starving, hurting, and homeless. I should concentrate more on others than myself, and one day- when I least expect it- something amazing will happen.

So as lame as I feel about this...there it is guys. We all have struggles- and this is mine. I'm on day 3 of the fast, and well- I'm excited to see what God has in store.

But one thing I have realized, is that in this instant gratification thing, my valentines day has been instantly fixed, I'll spend it loving others, and the One that loves me the most. (I think we all know who that is....and if you don't it starts with a G and ends with od. Just if you were wondering...) Sorry to be so corny, but it is the truth. BTW- I AM SOOOO STILL WEARING BLACK! haha

Thanks for reading this post, guys :) Now, I've got to run to class.

-jennie

Thoughts.

Does the fact that I feel too weak to fight for what I want mean I'm lazy? I mean, stemming from my past- that every time I've fought for what I wanted, the battle was won by someone else?

Sometimes I wish that the scars left on my life weren't there. I wish that I could just move past it all and live without fear, but that is impossible. I blame God, when I know I shouldn't, for letting me get hurt. But why blame him when I said that I trusted him and then took things upon myself? Perhaps I am impatient and selfish...that could very well be true...but if God knows the desires of my heart, why wouldn't he grant me that? Yes, I know that his timing is perfect, and that he has reasons beyond my knowledge, but sometimes I just wish he would bless me with contentment. I am content sometimes...but the moment I celebrate my contentment, it is taken away once more. Yes, I realize that I sound like a whiny child...but you know we all think it! And if I'm the only one...whoops!

I firmly believe in God, and his plan for my life...my question is, when will my hopes and dreams be fulfilled? I love God, and I will follow him wherever he leads...but sometimes, I just wonder why I feel the way I do...and then, I realize I am only human.

I am starting a 21 day Fast today, and I will be praying for contentment, strength, and searching for other answers in my life. I just needed to get some thoughts out this first day.

God will never leave us, or forsake us...even in his silence- I choose to believe.

-jennie.

Love.

Last night we all sat up and listened to a sermon given by my friend Ben's youth pastor. She spoke on Love.

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a big fan of love. Not the mushy "I will love you forever", "Hey, let's go rent a Nicholas Sparks Movie" "love", but straight up love. As in, Love God, Love Others, Love the World. Besides, Nicholas Sparks movies make me bitter. Not a fan. But love, real love- I find it amazing.

Because I believe that love is real.

I have heard many times that "love" is a chemical reaction in the body and what not. Well, to an extent, yes, but love is more than that; it is a choice. Love is loving and supporting someone and listening to them, even when you are in the worst mood and completely exhausted. Its being there with the person when it feels like everyone has walked away. Love is placing someone higher than yourself and doing all that you can to insure that they are okay. Love knows no bounds and yes, often requires sacrifice. Love is selfless.

I aim to love, and honestly- I don't expect to be loved in return.

I am called to love. Yes, I know that sounds weird- but we all are. God sets the example- and we are to follow.

Just look at who Jesus spent his time with; the lowest of the low. He was constantly loving everyone around him, even if it hurt. Heck, he even loved Judas after the betrayal. I often feel like people and the church forget what love actually is. They forget why the church was created.

Just a reminder: The church was created to carry out the works of Christ. AKA: WE NEED TO BE LOVING PEOPLE AND HELPING THEM! It is time to stop passing judgement and love.

Love can be the most freeing thing on earth. Yes, it can come with a price, but in the end- it will all be restored and worth it.

Sometimes, I feel like people think that "love" really is that corny poo that is found in most Nicholas Sparks movies. As you can tell, I don't watch anything Nicholas Sparks...personally, I think that it over idealizes certain situations and raises people's expectations. Not that I don't believe it could happen- but I feel like girls get all sorts of ideas in their heads and condemn the heck out of the poor guy next to them that isn't a model/actor professing his undying love for her on the spot. Plus, I feel like it tarnishes love. Like I said, love is more than just a feeling, and well, this doesn't exactly show all that love can be.

Romantic love and what not is filled with emotion and feeling, but yet again, it also plays into making a choice (and everything I have already talked about). Every day, we choose to love.

I challenge all of you to choose to love. Just to love. It will be difficult at times, but love never fails. Love as the Father loves you.

Don't think I am just saying this, I believe it. And no, I am not naive. Love can change people, situations, and your life.

LOVE,

jennie

The Trust Issue

Let's face it, I think we all have trust issues. We are all scared that something or someone is going to come along, and disrupt and or destroy your life.

I know I have that fear.

I talk a lot about how if you decide to follow Christ, live it out. Well, if you say you trust in God...I think the only logical thing to do is act like it. Stop trying to take the reigns back on your life, because in the end...you'll end up in a ditch somewhere. Maybe literally, but hopefully we are just talking metaphorically right now. (Yes, I felt like imagining two people trying to direct a horse drawn carriage...just stick with the corny imagery for effect, okay?)

My question is, why would the creator of the universe try to ruin you? Exactly, he wouldn't. He has your best interest at heart, and only wants the best for you. Why do we all try to fight the tide? It makes absolutely no sense.

CS Lewis wrote in A Grief Observed that it seems like when everything is going well, it seems like God is guiding you and always there with you, but the moment something horrible happens, it is like the door is slammed and locked in your face. This is paraphrased...obviously...but I find this interesting because I can remember feeling and thinking this. But the thing to remember is, if God is guiding you in the good times, why don't you apply what you apparently learned in that time to he was super vocal to the times when he seems to be silent? Its like how you handle yourself in a time of crisis shows your character...perhaps the hard times are to show you how strong you actually are. Just a thought.

I guess I wrote this post today to reflect and to put the thought out there that if you believe what you say you believe, act like it. Trust in God, because there is no one better to trust in. I know trust is a scary thing...but sometimes, you've just got to believe and let yourself go. God promised you that he would never leave you or forsake you...I can't imagine anyone better to trust. Give him the reigns, and I can promise you that you'll end up in a far better place than you could have ever taken yourself.

love,

jennie