You

It seems like every time I go to write now, I just can't put words to my thoughts. Like, I know what I want to say, but I'm not quite sure how to say it- or maybe I'm just too caught up in which subject I'll chose to talk about next. There is nothing like finally getting your words out there- like you're finally being heard. Well, this post might be a bit different than the rest- but who doesn't like different?

I guess there is no better place to start with my thoughts than from the beginning.

My friend Kristin has this quote in her room that says, "Wishing to be someone else is a waste of who you are." Until recently, I haven't realized how true that statement is. I catch myself wishing I were someone else, looked like someone else, had traits and qualities of someone else. But for what? So that I could be "happier". I think what it all boils down to is insecurities that I've ignored for a long time that are finally surfacing in my head. Insecurities of going to a school with beautiful people, having friends that I feel are gorgeous while I feel well, less than. I don't say all of this to make you all think that I have low self-esteem or self worth- because honestly I don't- I think it all is just me deciding what voice to listen to in my head. Do I listen to the thought that says "You are NOT that pretty. This is why no guy ever takes a second look at you. Its all based on the outside. You need to fix that." or the one that says "You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful- don't compare yourself to the others. You are YOU. Sure, there may be room for improvement- but you can do it! Don't get yourself down." More often than not, the little demon singing the ugly song wins.

What? Don't be so shocked. I'm pretty sure everyone struggles with this. Even if we don't admit it. There is always a voice in the back of your head whispering lies to yourself. I think that this little voice, is what leads us to wishing ourselves away. We get so caught up in what we could be, and not who we are- so caught up in what we could have, instead of what we have. In fact, I think if people would stop longing for money, social "worth", relationships, etc. they would have the time to realize just how many awesome things they have in their lives! They can realize just how AWESOME they are; they can SEE their blessings.

God made you, YOU for a reason. He blessed you with special talents, thoughts, abilities- for a reason; so that you can USE them! Lets say you could just pick up a Cello and play it perfectly without even trying, but you really want to play guitar- and can't play it worth a lick. What are you going to do? Are you going to use your gifts and stun the world with you cello skills? Or will you chose to attempt to play the guitar- in hopes that one day it might actually sound like music? As random as this example may be- think about it. Why allow yourself to be down about something that you are bad at- when you could be celebrating something that you are amazing at!

I guess I just say all of that to remind people to celebrate who they are, and to love themselves. Concentrate on the good, and not the bad. Don't dwell in what could be; dwell in what IS. Be excited about who you are! Here, I'll set the example.

I'm Jennie. I have an awesome life! I have been blessed with an amazing family, and some awesome friends. I am able to go to a wonderful college, to pursue what I want in life. I may get down on my appearance some days- but I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I'm really good at making people feel comfortable and loved- and I can be loud and obnoxious- but also witty. People feel safe to talk to me- and I love being able to love on people. I may be single- but that is so I can concentrate on the friendships and people that need a little more love- and concentrate on spending more time with my awesome God- and I know that one day I'll be pursued. I'm not always satisfied with my life, but at the moments I need it most- God sends me little pieces of hope and light. I have been blessed beyond measure- and I can sleep knowing I'm safe and loved tonight- and that is the best thing I could ever ask for. Maybe I can't sing or dance- maybe I can't be organized- maybe I'm not the "coolest" person in the world, but I'm me and I know I'm who God wants me to be- and THAT is all I will ever want.

BE who you are, and don't be ashamed.

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is Youer than You."-Dr. Seuss

Yes, I ended with the Seuss. Appreciate it.