Home.

"Home is where your heart is"---How many times have we heard this quote?
For me, I think I'm just shy of 2,898,432 times. Not that I have kept count.

For the longest time, to me home was 105 Pinto Lane. For a little kid, that is where I felt safe. AND it made sense, I mean isn't "home" your house? Well, I learned that wasn't the case when we moved in middle school. Home was something more than four walls, it was a foundation, with a family inside. But what happens when the family is torn apart? What do you think home is when that changes?

Since May of 2008, I have been struggling with where exactly "home" is. Our physical house was still there, but everything inside of it had changed. I was all alone, with separated parents making trips back and forth between Mom and Dad's. Nothing was the same, and I never felt secure like I did when I was younger. I knew my parent's love was still there for me, but this wasn't the same. I felt lost in a town that I had always known, just waiting to find a place of my own.

As some of you know, I completely left everything I knew behind and moved to Indiana to go to school. This, this one place was my own. From the moment I set foot on campus, I just knew. This place was it. Over the last month, I have grown to dearly love this school, and the people here. After the years of constantly praying "God! Just get me out of here. Take me somewhere I belong. Take me somewhere where I know you want me to be!" I was finally here. I LOVE North Carolina, and I would do ANYTHING for my friends and family there, this is where I belong. I miss everyone so much, but I think that shows me how dearly I love them. Last week I got a card saying "Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know that they are always there." and how I have discovered that this is so true.

This weekend, I got the opportunity to stay with my Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin (and my cousin's awesome girlfriend) in Indianapolis. For me, it was awesome being around a full family again. I mean, my parents come together for my sister and I, but it is a completely different dynamic. My aunt and uncle are so in love, and it shows. THAT is what I want one day. For the first time in over two years, I felt at home just sitting there with everyone. Completely whole, completely content. Finally, I had found home. Maybe not in the East side- but here, in Indiana. With my family and at school.

For me, I have been reminded that God never leaves us, or forsakes us- even if we feel like it. I might question why I felt lost for the last two years, but I've realized- you've gotta be lost to be found. One thing has remained true in my heart, wherever I go- whatever I do- God is with me, and he is faithful. He knew I wanted to find "home" - and here it is. I just had to be patient and ride out the storm. I'm not saying my life is insta-perfect. Because that would be a flat out lie. I'm just saying- that I am grateful & things are getting better.

In the words of Switchfoot- "This is home, now I'm finally where I belong."

(yes, I just ended with Switchfoot. Don't judge.)

-jennie