Thoughts.

So, since I have posted the link to this on FB my site has gone from a whopping 9 views to 27 in two days. Part of me thinks there are legit readers, and part of me feels like there is someone out there mocking me. Mock away, have fun. I've noticed that I care a little too much of what other people think. I mean, we all have our faults, that's just one of mine.
Random thought: Do bible bangers ever get tired? I mean, that's a lot of work spending all of their time shoving their beliefs down other people's throats. Sometimes I think people spend too much time trying to convert people and forget about what the religion is all about. I hate the word religion. I have a particular faith, I just can't say religion. I don't like the word. However, these bible bangers, have they forgotten who Jesus was as a person? Please, show me the verse where Jesus said "and I command you, grab the sword of the spirit and shove it down thy neighbour's throat!". A) Jesus probably didn't speak like that and B) Jesus was pretty peaceful unless provoked. All I'm saying is, be respectful of others. Just because you listen to their thoughts doesn't mean that YOU have to believe in them. Stay strong in what you believe.
Random biblical thought,
"blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". I'm just feeling poor in spirit today. I hope all of you are having a wonderful day.
-jennie

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Love.

These days, I am not necessarily looking for love- but looking to love. Not just one person, but those people in my path that need it. I fail at many things & undoubtedly, I'll fail at this at one point or another. But why focus on the inevitable failures, when you can celebrate the successes? Many people have goals in life. Well, here is mine- to simply love.

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I Surrender

I don't know about you, but I've always been told that when you are fighting a natural force (like, white water rapids) to surrender to the current. Well, when I think of God's plan for our lives, that instead of fighting the current, we should surrender, and go with the flow. I mean, what's the point of fighting it anyway? You're gonna lose at one point or another...
The wonderful thing about giving into God's plan is that in the end, you will have ended up with a better journey than you could have ever gone on that you charted. Tonight, I simply want you to read these lyrics from Sanctus Real's song Whatever You're Doing, and ask if you're fighting the current or going on the uncharted path God has for you. Personally, I find that I tend to fight the current. (I'm a bad swimmer anyways...I can't believe I've held on this long).
"It's time for healing, time to move on, its time to fix what's been broken too long. Time to make right, what has been wrong. its time to find somewhere I belong.
There's a wave that's crashing over me, and all I can do is surrender,
to whatever you're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace, and its hard to surrender to what I can't see, but I'm giving in to something heavenly, something heavenly...
So, its not the whole song, but I suggest you look it up. You may hate it or love it. I, obviously love it and kinda hope you do too.
love,
-jennie

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Change.

Usually, I don't openly share that I'm not a fan of change. I mean, if it betters the situation, I find change to be a good thing. However, my experiences with change have usually sucked. About 2 years ago now, my parents separated, my senior pastor left our church, and my youth pastor left. All within 3 months of each other. BAM, BAM, BAM, 2 of my major supports had just fallen. I'd be lying if I said I was over it, because well, I'm not. I still hold a lot of hurt from that experience. After dealing with all of that, change just freaks me out. Currently, I am attending an International Youth Convention in Florida, and my mind won't stop flipping to the past. My youth group now is a sad, pitiful shadow of the past. We let the change break us. I often wonder why God allowed all that to happen, and what would the youth be today if we actually trusted one another and trusted that God will take care of us. Change is a funny thing. You never really know it is coming until it is here. I talk a lot about living as if we know God. But now I wonder, does my youth as a whole interact like we know God? I don't see it anymore. This fact is not directed to any person, just to the group as a whole. I often miss what my youth used to be. We were close, and we truly loved one another. But as I look at the past, I realize that God does not mean for us to live it dwell in the past, but to live in the preset, and look forward to the future. Personally, I need to fix that about myself. I dwell too much. We need to move forward and change for the better. I have no idea why I wrote all of this, but I do want to challenge you. I challenge you to look at your life and see what needs to change. Do you dwell in what was, or what will be? Only you know. Change is inevitable, so embrace it. (Don't worry, I'm still talking to myself as well. These posts are getting depressing, I'll try to fix that :) )
love,
jennie

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Wait, what?

It never fails to amaze me how many people claim to be Christians, but actually act nothing like Jesus himself. I mean, think about it...aren't we supposed to be like him?
My old pastor used to say that there are two types of Christians,
1) The "Christians"
2) The Christ- followers

Ok, before you start to get all fussy, I will define them for you. The first one, the "Christians", are the ones that come to church either only on holidays or they are the ones that have their church pew "reserved" and they sit and stand at all the right times. Not saying that these are bad things, I'm just saying that their Christianity stays only at that. Once the service is over, they walk out the door and continue with their daily lives. The second one, the Christ-follower actually takes the time to LEARN about who Jesus was, study his teachings and try to follow his actions in his own life.
I think some people fail to REALLY realize the type of people Jesus chose to be around. Jesus chose to be around the misfits, the tax collectors, the "shady ladies" aka prostitutes. Jesus accepted everyone as they were. He loved them through their faults and imperfections. I just wonder what this world would be like if we just stopped judging one another and just really loving their neighbor. What if we loved people through our differences? We might not change the world, but it would probably get better. I challenge both of us to read and really understand who Jesus was and model our actions after his.
Perhaps if we all did this we would have a few less hypocrites around. Maybe.
Once again, just like standing in a garage doesn't make you a car, standing in a church doesn't make you a Christian.
Feel free to comment if you wish.

-jennie

Heavy Heart

Sometimes, life happens. You know what I mean- everything just starts going and all of a sudden, you haven't seen so and so since who knows when, and you haven't called that one kid in ages. It never fails, for me at least, that all of a sudden, you feel like a complete jerk. I try to make time for everyone in my life, but the sad truth is- I'm only human. No one is ever forgotten, or not valued. I have personally just had scheduling issues (that comes with the territory these days.). A lot of times, whether the people know it or not, my heart gets heavy with guilt. I honestly do care about every person in my life, but I fall short. When I'm in a really thoughtful mood, I think about how God falls into this. We may have human imperfections, but God doesn't. The bible tells us that God will never leave us or forsake us. To me, that is just amazing. Comparing my crappy keep-you-feeling-loved with Gods unfailing, steadfast friendship- dude, I amount to NOTHING. Although humans can fail, God will never let you down. You're always loved, and never alone. That thought alone raises my heavy heart, and gives me hope. I choose to let my hope in God be never failing, and I hope you will too. Just as a reminder to all of my friends-I'll always love you, and not just that, I'll like you too. Peace be to you, -jennie

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Say WHAT?!?

Often, I have to remind myself of Mississippi's positives (aka we don't dwell on the fact that there is almost NO cell service) but like I said, there are positives. 1. I see where I get my personality (and "looks") from, and 2. on a clear night- you can see what seems to be every star in the sky. In reality, "when I look at the stars, I feel like myself" (thank you Switchfoot). I'm sure by now, you are wondering how the heck this even applies. Well, Yesterday, I was telling you all about how sometimes I feel hopelessly lost...but on a clear, star filled night here- God and I have some nice chats. Just think...the maker of the stars, loves you. Not only that, he actually likes you and wants you to love and like him back. In the words of Donald Miller "...loving people is different from liking them. Loving people, in a general sense, almost feels like a moral obligation. Liking people is more compulsive. Liking someone means that you want to be around them and enjoy their company..." Whoa. He goes on to quote Luke 15:2- "This Man receives sinners and eats with them". Hmmm, interesting right? It just makes me think...no matter how unsure I am in life, no matter how lost I feel, God will always love & like me enough to stop and talk under the stars. You guys, that is crazy. I know that personally, I don't deserve it. We are never alone, and if we get lost in the darkness, God will rescue us if we ask. I think that is important to know as we go along this journey. Even if my Blogs get a little ADD for you...I hope you kinda get what I'm saying. In a general sense, don't get discouraged. We will achieve our goal of getting to know God, by golly! So, Imma end there. Maybe tomorrow will make more sense. -jennie

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uhhhh...I'm lost...

As some of you may know, I have spent the last few days on my grandparents' farm in Mississippi. Although there isn't really anything out here, i have to admit that I love the open pastures. For the first time, I have spent my time riding them in the 4 wheeler and just thinking about life....and honestly, I feel hopelessly lost. I am about to go to college and major in something I feel a calling to, but what if I absolutely suck?! I mean, think about it..anyone who knows me knows that I am what we call "organized chaos". I merely go on what I THINK God wants me to do.Sometimes, I wish the heavens would open up and God's voice would boom down saying, "JENNIE, DO THIS- IT'S WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO...OH, AND YOU WERE WONDERING ABOUT THIS DO- HERE'S THE ANSWER!". But obviously, that isn't going to happen. Honestly, most of the time I'm just unsteady. Fireflight has a line in Unbreakable that says- "Sometimes its hard to just keep going, but faith is moving without knowing. Can I trust what I can't see, to reach my destiny? I want to take control but I know better. God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been, I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared- now I am unbreakable, its unmistakable, no one can touch me- nothing can stop me." What if we were to think like this? It's my goal to. Well, honestly, I think I'm supposed to stop there. Let us go and be strong in our growing faith! - jennie

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Where am I headed?

This entire journey to know God thing is new to both you guys and myself. Personally, I've been a "Christian" since like 4th grade. Want to know a secret? I only went to the altar for 3 reasons- 1. I didn't want to go to hell, 2. my heart was racing- it was exciting, 3. I had been begging for a long time to he baptized. My dad always told me that I didn't fully understand what it meant yet, and don't tell him, but to a certain extent- he was right. I'm not exactly proud of my salvation story, but there you go. Relient K has a line in one of their songs, asking "do you know what you are getting yourself into?" ...I wish someone had asked me that. Don't get me wrong, I'm ECSTATIC that I got myself into this. It wasn't until high school that I actually made an effort to know God. The sad part is, I didn't keep it up. So in a way, I'm trying to get to know God again. This isn't all about me though, its about you too! Think about where you are right now on your journey. Are you getting to know God for the first time? Or are we catching up with an old friend? I have no idea if there are readers out there, but if you are- please, take a moment and be honest with yourself. Do you know what you are getting yourself into? I hope so....because it will be AMAZING. Until next time, -jennie

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Life Stories

So,
Ash and I host a weekly bible study. If you haven't gone, we would love to see you there. Anyways, this past week I led a what I would call "spastic" study about life stories. As you saw on the message, I really love Donald Miller's quote-
"Every life is like a story. Whether it is a story worth telling and talking about though, is up to you."
How true is this quote though? I mean, seriously. My life story this week probably includes some bible time, a lot of TV time, too much sleep, time with friends, and Dr. Pepper. How in the world does most of that even make up a good life story? Let us look at it and see what I have done to glorify God...mmk, that didn't take long to see that I did a big fat NADA. I mean, I attended church and led a bible study. Eh, well, not good enough. I like the saying- just because you stand in a garage doesn't make you a car. So, standing in a church doesn't make you a Christian. Ha, I'd like to share that with some people sometimes, even with myself.
I am reading a book titled The Christian Atheist: Believing in God But Living as If He Doesn't Exist. Honestly, it is an eye opener and I suggest that we ALL read it. I find myself living the life of a Christian Atheist at times. No, not what you are thinking. I am a good kid, promise. But sometimes we just get caught up into life, and put God in the back seat. (Well, he couldn't survive in my back seat, so, God kinda attempts to sit on top of the junk that is piled in my back seat. )
Think about where God is put in your life and what you are saying through your life story...are you proud? Honestly, I hope you are proud and WAY ahead of me. But if you aren't, let's work on this together.

Until next time my friends!
-jennie
**NOTE- I'm SO not saying that spending time with friends is/ was a waste. It isn't- It was just part of my life story this week :)